I freaking love Jesus.

Okay, maybe it's not a surprise, I am a Christian.
One with serious flaws.
I promise with my whole heart that I'm not judging you or your life choices (unless you're parading around like a Christian but being a terrible person... Then I get a little judge-y... Hey-I'm only human). I don't think I'm better than you, I don't want to fight with you, I know what I believe, and I'm not ashamed of it. I have very good friends that are atheists whom I love and respect very much.
Anyway, my whole point of saying that was just kind of a disclaimer, because I'm about to geek out.

Do you ever get so excited about something that you can't sleep?
It happens to me so often. Sleep has become somewhat of a rarity because I've been getting so excited about things.
Lately, I've been totally excited and unable to sleep because I HAVE to keep watching episodes of Oddities.

But, that's not what I'm excited about tonight.
Tonight (for approximately the 8th time in my life) I'm so incredibly excited about Jesus.
It's so random I decided I had to blog about it.
During church, the only thing I remember is pastor Mike talking about The Lion King, but then once I got into membership class (that might sound crazy... It's not cult-ish at all... It's just a class that potential members of the church take to make sure that the church's theology seems to line up with their own personal theology... I mean, I don't want to join a church and then realize that they believe the only way to heaven is through consuming raw eggs every day) it's like, my brain kind of turned on. Pastor Mike (who also happened to be teaching the class this week-purely coincidental) was talking about reading the bible as being something totally compulsory at times. It made me get to thinking... There was a time in my life that I read the bible 500 days in a row. I'm sure that 99% of those times were compulsory, actually, I know so. I only read one chapter a night, I did not read the whole Bible, but I was following a plan. Almost every night I basically thanked God that I was able to get through another chapter. If the chapter was a long one that took more than 5 minutes to read, I would almost certainly become annoyed.
But then I realized in class that I wasn't even doing that anymore. It's not that I'm bored with the word, or God, I just haven't been doing much.
I don't feel like I'm avoiding God, or annoyed or anything- I guess I've just been unintentionally negligent.
I don't mean to say that my random fervor is coming down to me trying to make up for lost time-that's totally inaccurate. What I do mean to say is that I am excited, and it's keeping me from sleep.

I never used to get excited about reading the bible (don't get me wrong, it's still shamefully rare). I think I spent close to 3 solid years of just drudging about, barely studying/reading anything, and never getting excited about learning more about God. But now that I do read/study more, and now that I've stopped (you know, as well as I can) trying to do things on my own accord and with my own strength, I've found that I'm more likely to become randomly jittery and excited just because I am so thankful that God chose me to be one of his children.

Okay, I've purged my excitement out of my system.

Shout-out to Pastor Mike

 

boop

(totally googled this man, and I'm using this picture without the consent of anyone, because that's how the internet works)

Also, shout-out to Knox Presbyterian Church.

The End.

Pin-tastic

Week 2
Domestic goddess

If you don't live on a boat, you probably know that Pinterest has taken over the world.
I know Pinterest causes great schisms among friends on social media sites, but I would like you to know that I really do like Pinterest.
Most of my pins are for crafty-things with the children I watch, or for homemade cleaning products. I secretly love most of the hair pins that show up on my... newsfeed (I don't know what to call that, so I'll stick with newsfeed)? and even though I have very lovely, and very long hair- I have differently-abled fingers that can't do my own hair, so I refrain from re-pinning most of those.

Anyway, the point of me writing this is to tell you of my first Pinterest fail.

Today our house was freezing cold, and I was sitting on the couch, ready to nap, but one of the cats was on the blanket, so I decided to visit my good friend, Pinterest (let's not talk about how I didn't move the cat... I know, I'm not the person I used to be).

Right away, I found this tip for a house deodorizer, I was stoked. Mind you, our house is not smelly, but I always like when the house smells like baked goods. It was simple. Pour a cap-full of vanilla extract into a coffee mug and put it in the oven for 10 minutes. When all is said and done, your house should smell like angel whispers.
Of course I was skeptical, but as I had stated earlier-our house is freezing, and turning the oven on had the potential to help, if only momentarily.
Dude... Don't do it. I mean, yeah... Our kitchen kind of smells like vanilla now. But you know what else it smells like? Crusty oven. We don't even have a bad smelling crusty oven, but if you're just going to heat up a drop of vanilla in an oven that is used nearly every single day in hopes of it making your house smell like a fresh batch of cookies... It's not going to work.
 (Also, in case anyone is worried about me using Shaun's expensive Penzey's vanilla-I didn't. I used some "sweatshop" vanilla from my old apartment.)

I wouldn't say that this was a drastic fail or anything... Not even something blog-worthy, necessarily- I just wanted to alert the masses.

I like writing.
I like photography.
I'm good at writing.
I own a camera.
I don't write enough.
I don't take enough pictures.
I think I'm going to try something... I want writing to be involved. So, I think I'm going to come up with a list of 52 different things and challenge myself to writing about a picture I took that involves that theme. Or maybe just add a picture :-) I haven't decided yet. I've been mulling this over for a while, but this is the first I've started to jot down what I'm thinking. P.S. Don't be surprised if you stumble upon this in 2023 and I have zero weeks done. I like making plans, but I exhaust myself after planning, so nothing ever comes to fruition. I'm more of a thinker than a do-er.

 Week 1: Happiness

Today I noticed these three little Fisher Price people hanging out in our Temple Mount puzzle. So much of this makes me happy. My roommates and their cousin's assembled this 300-some piece model of the second temple (second, right? I might be mistaken) on Christmas this past year. This model makes me happy, because I didn't participate in it at all, I don't think I've ever even touched this masterpiece. I love puzzles, but this was more of a mini architectural undertaking. I'm sure I have the capacity to assemble something like this, but I am sure that I don't have the desire. I'm also sure that I'm a really bad team player, and this was a family undertaking.

This picture also makes me happy because of the three little people. First of all, I have fond memories of those little guys. I'm not sure if I ever actually owned any of those little people (and by "owned" I mean, my mother bought them for my brother a decade earlier, and wiped the dust off of them for me when I came around) but I remember playing with them at our cottage. We had little Fisher Price boats (I'm pretty sure they are still there) and I just remember having a blast, sucking on the heads of those little people, and filling the boats up with mud. In retrospect, those little guys are creepy, anthropomorphic choking hazards, but whenever the kids in my life come over to play and pop those little heads in their mouths, I can't help but first feeling a little wave of nostalgia wash over me before dislodging the toy from the child's windpipe.

 (Oh, and also, it looks like three little tourists visiting the temple. That is why it is primarily funny.)

Dear Friend

(Once upon a time I was having a miserable life, sometimes I wrote poetry that makes me sad to read now, but thankful that my life is so great)

i can't stop the tears.
but even if i could,
i wouldn't.
the tears help me realize
that i can still love.
i will always love,
i will always love you.

losing you hurts.
more than the words i write
could convey.

at times i am bitter.
for giving, and giving
getting nothing in return.
but because you let me love you
your smallest gestures mean the world.

people are only in our lives
for a season.
our season was cut short.
forced into this cruel winter
to die,
at infancy.
this is all we will ever have.
because soon we will be gone.
forever.

but i rejoice.
i rejoice at the thought of you holding up your end of the deal,
leaving though it hurts,
being brave enough to follow
God's plan for you.

there is no way i could forget you.
you're in my mind until the day i die.

dear friend,
i would not be offended,
if your love for me ran out.

dear friend,
i would not be offended,
if someone took my place.

dear friend,
i would not be offended,
if you forgot me.

but dear friend,
when we meet in heaven,
be assured,
i will not have forgotten you.

Persephone Inspired

(I apologize for any grammatical errors, I just copied this down real quick so I could have more content)

First born
My love was not enough.
How can that be?
My love, my child, stay near
Stay near.
Dear daughter, I know
I know your desires
You want to run, to be free
Unhindered by my maternal woes
You have a good head-
I'm afraid it's not good enough.

Okay- I relent
Go- just go- there are things to be done,
crops to tend,
go-just go

Go... Just go.
I told you to go
I brought this on myself
Such a crazy old fool
to think you able to fend for yourself

First born
My daughter
My love
My child
Where are you dear daughter?
My heart is barely beating
consumed with sadness and guilt.
My child
My baby
Hades, why did you take her?
Were all the souls of the dead not enough?
You needed to rob me of my love
My child.
Such a fool, and incredible fool.
Her beauty outstanding.
Hell couldn't stay away...

My child,
My love,
My heart...
I can't

Pity the flowers, who think they will bloom.
the mindless crops who assume themselves to bear fruit.
Now they too look foolish.
Brown, dead, cold.
I can't care.
Not without my child
My love.

I want earth to feel my sadness.
My duty I have a abandoned, for lack of care.
I stare at the dead trees, unblinking.
The cold bites my face.
I could change this, I could.
They are not all dead, just sleeping.
Unlike my dear Persephone, they could be brought back.
But no, I laugh.
My heart is in agony,
I'm screaming in pain.
I curse this earth.
No more fruit shall it bear.
The cold will envelop my world, until my love,
my child,
my baby is returned.

A Class Experiment

Your chains are tight, feet bound in lead dear girl
The girl who lived a life/misfortune.
For all to hear; if this, if all the world
Drinking, drinking from a gourd every portion
My dress a flowing river of silk, pink
You're bound dear girl by chains, those chains do suck
I do not profess a desire to sink
And down and down; for all of his great luck
Where is the luck that brings honor to family
Smiles abound, laughter around, I'm happy.
Scantily clad in the sky near your mom
I will not make my last remarks too snappy
Or else, if you ignore this plea of mine,
Look at my beauty and all I am fine.



I can only take credit for three of the above lines.
It was an in-class assignment.
And I thought if was neat.

I've done it!

I've sold my soul to google, and I can't be happier!

Hello ad-sense.

And hello again blogiverse.