Dear Friend

(Once upon a time I was having a miserable life, sometimes I wrote poetry that makes me sad to read now, but thankful that my life is so great)

i can't stop the tears.
but even if i could,
i wouldn't.
the tears help me realize
that i can still love.
i will always love,
i will always love you.

losing you hurts.
more than the words i write
could convey.

at times i am bitter.
for giving, and giving
getting nothing in return.
but because you let me love you
your smallest gestures mean the world.

people are only in our lives
for a season.
our season was cut short.
forced into this cruel winter
to die,
at infancy.
this is all we will ever have.
because soon we will be gone.
forever.

but i rejoice.
i rejoice at the thought of you holding up your end of the deal,
leaving though it hurts,
being brave enough to follow
God's plan for you.

there is no way i could forget you.
you're in my mind until the day i die.

dear friend,
i would not be offended,
if your love for me ran out.

dear friend,
i would not be offended,
if someone took my place.

dear friend,
i would not be offended,
if you forgot me.

but dear friend,
when we meet in heaven,
be assured,
i will not have forgotten you.

Persephone Inspired

(I apologize for any grammatical errors, I just copied this down real quick so I could have more content)

First born
My love was not enough.
How can that be?
My love, my child, stay near
Stay near.
Dear daughter, I know
I know your desires
You want to run, to be free
Unhindered by my maternal woes
You have a good head-
I'm afraid it's not good enough.

Okay- I relent
Go- just go- there are things to be done,
crops to tend,
go-just go

Go... Just go.
I told you to go
I brought this on myself
Such a crazy old fool
to think you able to fend for yourself

First born
My daughter
My love
My child
Where are you dear daughter?
My heart is barely beating
consumed with sadness and guilt.
My child
My baby
Hades, why did you take her?
Were all the souls of the dead not enough?
You needed to rob me of my love
My child.
Such a fool, and incredible fool.
Her beauty outstanding.
Hell couldn't stay away...

My child,
My love,
My heart...
I can't

Pity the flowers, who think they will bloom.
the mindless crops who assume themselves to bear fruit.
Now they too look foolish.
Brown, dead, cold.
I can't care.
Not without my child
My love.

I want earth to feel my sadness.
My duty I have a abandoned, for lack of care.
I stare at the dead trees, unblinking.
The cold bites my face.
I could change this, I could.
They are not all dead, just sleeping.
Unlike my dear Persephone, they could be brought back.
But no, I laugh.
My heart is in agony,
I'm screaming in pain.
I curse this earth.
No more fruit shall it bear.
The cold will envelop my world, until my love,
my child,
my baby is returned.

A Class Experiment

Your chains are tight, feet bound in lead dear girl
The girl who lived a life/misfortune.
For all to hear; if this, if all the world
Drinking, drinking from a gourd every portion
My dress a flowing river of silk, pink
You're bound dear girl by chains, those chains do suck
I do not profess a desire to sink
And down and down; for all of his great luck
Where is the luck that brings honor to family
Smiles abound, laughter around, I'm happy.
Scantily clad in the sky near your mom
I will not make my last remarks too snappy
Or else, if you ignore this plea of mine,
Look at my beauty and all I am fine.



I can only take credit for three of the above lines.
It was an in-class assignment.
And I thought if was neat.

I've done it!

I've sold my soul to google, and I can't be happier!

Hello ad-sense.

And hello again blogiverse.

God's grace covers all.

Do you ever have those moments where you realize how utterly deplorable you are?
I just had one of those.

Hello world, it's been a while.

Here's the deal.
I'm going to Hungary for spring break.
Regardless of whether or not I get all of the support I need (meaning I will have to foot the rest of the bill).

I know I only have $320 in (with $350 on the way...)
And I know that that still leaves a deficit of nearly $1000.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I have sent letters, I'm calling people.
I sent about a hundred facebook messages the other night.
It's not like I'm not trying.

Then, of course, someone had the audacity to email me and say, "Erin, you only have $320 in, you need to start calling"
Thank you for your support, I have been.
Do you really think I have the money to support myself on this???
Do you really think I'd just not care about this?

Sometimes it's not a matter of whether God wants you somewhere or not, or if you're "acting as if Got wont help you, but having faith that he will"
sometimes you just don't know the right people.

Does this mean that maybe God doesn't want me to go to Hungary?
Yes... that is possible.
But it's too late to back out now.
And the thought that God would make someone suffer, because they want to help further his kingdom is just ridiculous.

Sometimes the only thing that matters is that you know the right people.
And I do not.

The end.

Lets talk about race baby, lets talk about you and me.

Here is the deal.
I am a sociology minor who grew up in the middle of nowhere.
Sometimes I feel as if that puts me at a disadvantage because there were no minorities to speak of where I grew up, so there weren't any overt race issues.
And that may be true, but I am just now grasping the seriousness of discrimination/prejudice in the United States.

Race is always something I've brushed off since coming into college. I can't say honestly that I stand by, unaffected by things that other people say, and I can't say that I've not said some of the same things.
But I'm getting to the point where I just don't know who to be upset with.

White people always say that black people have a chip on their shoulder, that Hispanics are lazy, Asians are taking "our" jobs and that Indian people are doing that, but also that they smell... or do that annoying head bobble, or even more ridiculous things.
And being the imperfect person that I am, I have found myself agreeing with some, if not all of the aforementioned stereotypes at some point in my life.

My point in writing this is that people seem to underestimate race.
White people always say things like, "racism is over, now the (fill in the blank) people need to get over it"
I'm going to be the shit-stirrer that I am and say... It's not.

White people are afraid of other races, and that comes out in prejudice or discrimination more often than not.
Since taking this incredibly bothersome sociology class this fall, I've come to see how real racial issues are.
In reading stories about pig processing plants where white people get paid more for putting together boxes, and Mexicans get paid dollars less an hour for standing on a 45 degree chopping floor, hacking apart pigs, with their extremities going numb.
And also in a story I read just this morning about Harlem drug cops.

I am so frustrated by this issue, it's hard for me to even vocalize my feelings.

But I think what needs to be done is maybe to STOP talking about race.
Because the ignorance which is oozing from the White people, Black people, Asians, Native Americans, Latinos, Europeans, Arabs, Muslims, Jews, Germans, Poles, Canadians, Brazilians, Australians, and every other race and ethnicity is holding back progress.
And apparently talking about it doesn't help.

Maybe I'll finish this blog at another time... I'm just really frustrated right now...